As you all know by now, I think way too much. So I was pondering my relationship with WJJ. I thought, “Am I a good wife?” From there, I had to define, “What is a good wife?”
When we look at our marriage vows, I hope we all certainly believe in those fundamentals. You know, “I Tiffany take you Walter to be my husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” Although WJJ and I are not sure we ever really exchanged vows but that’s a whole other story. Certainly, at this stage of our lives, those vows are the foundation of our marriage.
But let’s get back to my question, “What is a good wife?” In trying to simplify this I broke it down to four categories. The four categories are: Wife, Friend, Lover and Girlfriend. Let me try my best to define them for you.
1. Wife: To me a wife (or husband) is someone who supports the relationship. They also do the little “niceties.” I usually make WJJ coffee – he gasses up my car. I give him a morning “kiss” and little backrub. I make the nightly martinis. He does the cooking and the dishes. The list goes on and on. We are Husband and Wife. In this category I give myself a solid A.
2. Friend: A friend is someone with whom you can confide in and talk to about anything and everything. They are trustworthy and loyal. A friend is also the person with whom you can do fun activities like going to the movies, shopping, lunch, dinner etc. A friend is always there to protect and defend you. So as I rated myself in the “Wife-Friend” category, I got another A. Hey, I’m on a roll.
3. Lover comes next. I won’t go into detail but based on our 40+ years of marriage and of course our business, I would rate myself a B+. I’m sure WJJ would probably say, “More would be better!”
So far, so good.
4. Finally, Girlfriend: Tell you right now I’m giving myself a C- ! Yep a C -! Sure when WJJ and I are going out, I make sure I dress for HIM! Whether we’re going to LaMer or Assagio’s, I try my best to look my best for Walter. I also make sure that most evenings, I have my hair and makeup done for dinner (Note, I said most). But I realized that I don’t do enough special “Girlfriend stuff.” If we were dating and I really wanted to have a long term commitment with WJJ, I would put a whole lot more effort in the relationship. I’d spend less time on my computer and more time in his company. I would certainly ensure that I added romance and spontaneity into our everyday life. I would NOT be wearing my terry cloth cover-up until noon just because I was busy. I would send him little love notes and buy him cute pressies. I would make sure that I focused more on him and less on others. I would laugh louder at his jokes and listen more intently to his every word. Hmmm, in fact I remember doing all those things……often….so many years ago. And I still do lots of those things just not often enough. So I’m a C- as a girlfriend. In order to make the Wife High Honor Roll, I better get that up to a solid B really soon. I know I can do it! Less time on other ‘stuff’ more time on WJJ. That’s simple.
So, how do you rate yourself on the Wife High Honor Roll?