Confessions of a Bad Friend

I am a terrible friend.   Seriously, I am.   I’m bad enough to my Hawaii friends but to my Boston friends, I am horrible.

I will say that the last couple of years have been well…. Interesting. Starting with Lyme disease and ending with….. Lyme disease. And in between Lyme disease lots of changes both personally and professionally. So again I say …. Interesting.

But there are no excuses for not being a good friend.

One of my dearest Boston friends Sue is going through a really difficult time. Her husband Phil has cancer. In his type of cancer, there is no cure. There will probably be no miracles

Since Lyme disease, I don’t visit Boston often. And when I do, my time is spent up with my family whom I sorely miss. By the time I see my sisters, my aunt, my brothers in law and nieces and nephews, my holiday is over.   Of course I also take my trip to the cemetery, where I sit and cry hysterically mourning my parents and WJJ’s parents.   Jamie always comments on my “cemetery timing”. It is usually the last day before I head back to Hawaii. So as I am incredibly sad that I am leaving everyone I truly love–besides my husband–I get to weep uncontrollably as well.   Great timing Tj!

While WJJ and I were in Boston last September, I promised Sue that we would get together at our favorite restaurant on Newbury Street and have a glass of champagne. At that time, Phil’s cancer had been diagnosed and I really wanted to offer my love and support.

Of course, my limited time slipped away and instead of my private time with Sue I invited Sue and Phil to an UndercoverWear “dinner-meeting” at a hotel outside of Boston. Ironically, the hotel was located on Newbury Street.   This isn’t quite as bad as it sounds. Previously Sue was VP of Sales at UCW. Everyone at this dinner loves Sue and Phil. So it was a really great time for everyone –except perhaps for Sue and me. We wanted our “girlfriend time” and we just didn’t get it.

Sue and I have always had a special connection. Most of you know I am a “Good Witch” –so I’ve got this ESP thing going on continually.   I tend to pick up the phone and call people for no reason and it seems that the timing is usually perfect.

On Friday, I walked out of my office @ 3:00 PM to finally take a shower before WJJ came home from golf. As I headed toward the stairs, I turned back and said, “I think I’ll call Sue”. (Keep in mind that is 9:00 PM EST–normally too late to call). I called, Sue answered and we chatted for about 45 minutes–true Girlfriend Time.

After we finished, I got the following text:

“Thank you for calling. Our ESP still is working. I’ve been thinking about you this week and I needed a call from my friend. It’s been a difficult few weeks and today was the pits. So thank you for being there my friend! Suzie”

Now I’d like to respond to my friend “Suzie” (only Phil and I can call her that name):

Sue, forgive me for not being there to help you, comfort you, cry with you and make you laugh. While I love my husband and enjoy Hawaii, it is times like these that I miss being close to my family and dear friends.

Know that you and Phil are in my heart and in my prayers.   While WJJ is not prepared to move back to Boston any time soon, neither time nor distance can ever take away our love and friendship.

Sue, I promise I will be a better friend. And tell Phil that when I’m back in September –BOOM BOOM will be making a special appearance just for him. Love Tj

To all my other friends, please do me a favor. If I’m not being a good friend to you –hit me on the side of the head and remind me. And if you’re not in Hawaii –then ask one of my Hawaii friends to hit me on the side of the head! I’m sure they will be glad to do that. Not too hard, remember I had the concussion! LOL

So everyone, let’s try to embrace that we’re all busy, we’re all stressed and we all have “stuff” going on, but love and friendship should take center stage at all times!

3 thoughts on “Confessions of a Bad Friend

  1. you have always been a wonderful friend to me even though you have had a lot on your plate with the Lyme disease. I do agree that we all need to take time to be there for friends that need a friend!

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